10 Questions, Husband Edition
With life in the way, we might forget to see our partners as the person we fell ga-ga for in the first place. Then we become parents, and our lives start revolving around our kids. Whether you put it out there or not, marriage is damn hard!
What things at the top of your head, can long-time married couples do to change it up a bit?
For Frank and me, it has been 15 years; fifteen years have flown us by. After living in two countries, hustling, surviving, and three offspring later, I would like to think I know everything about my partner. Turns out, his favorite color recently changed to neon pink!
Granted though, I do know him on a much deeper level.
I decided to jot 10, light-hearted questions to throw at him; just for fun. And although he knew this exercise was coming, we hadn’t found time to sit together for an “interview”. Finally, one lazy Sunday, I took my list of questions and a pen. He looks at me then suggests, “Wouldn’t you want to record our conversation to grasp emotion and detail of my answers? *Sigh* “Well, yeah, actually I would. That is an awesome idea….”
I ran upstairs to charge my phone and just as he was about to leave for a short ride on his Vespa, I called him back in. I was ready to begin (but he wasn’t). He removed his riding helmet and climbed up the stairs with my favourite snack in hand (Nacho Doritos)…
Disclaimer: He really enjoyed this exercise; as I knew he would. I think this activity made him feel special because amidst the chaos of work and kids, I took time to brainstorm these questions uniquely for him in an effort to get to know him a bit more... If that makes any sense.
1. Who is your celebrity crush?
Nikki’s thoughts: “Funny enough, I had never asked him this question. I almost remember it being Sloan from The Entourage series. It could have changed.”
Frank: “Scarlet Johansen.”
Frank: “How about you? Who is your celebrity crush?”
Nikki: “This is not about me. Let’s continue on…
(You really want to know? I am obsessed with Jake Gyllenhaal.)
2. What is one thing in your life you would change?
Frank: “The way I eat… Yeah…”
Nikki thoughts: "Aaww… Lest you forget, we are stuffing our faces with Doritos. Frank is a man’s man - caveman; he breathes, sweats, and lives red meat. He convinces me to celebrate the tiniest occasions as an excuse to visit the butcher for a juicy steak. I am trying to slowly change his eating habits compatibly to his blood type. So is he. At least, the intention is there."
3. If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?
Nikki’s thoughts: “I would love to multiply myself; my body, my brain, my arms, my eyes… everything… How awesome would it be if I could accomplish everything on my task list, drive for my kids, attend all my meetings, earn some money, and cook dinner, all while having a long overdue Brazilian wax?”
Frank: So I could quickly move from place to place; work, golf, office, up, down… That’s a good one.”
Nikki’s thoughts: “Yeah, ok.”
4. Which Disney Princess do you find most attractive?
Nikki’s thoughts: "I am excited to hear his answer for this one. Let’s see if he’s been paying attention to all the Disney movies on repeat."
Frank: “Belle” I think Belle has a chance to be hot….
Nikki’s thoughts: “Oookaaay… yeah I can see that. Big bad beast. Imprisonment. ala “Fifty Shades”, you know. Yeah, I dig it."
(I highly doubt Frank is even thinking along the same lines as I am.)
5. You’re in prison for life. What was your crime?
Frank: “Murder. Murder…. I killed someone defending my family."
6. How many more times do you wish we could have sex?
I will leave your imagination to it...
Frank: “Five times… maybe 6…yeah, maybe 6… assuming we’re once a week."
Insert: eye roll emoji
7. What is your least favorite fast food restaurant?
(Munching… on… Doritos…)
Frank: “That’s hard… “I like Carl’s Jr. I love Burger King. I like Arby’s -- Actually, my least favorite is Mc Donalds’. I hate it. Mc Donald’s! It’s at the bottom of my fast food list. I love KFC. I like Jollibee better than Mc Donald’s.”
Nikki’s thoughts: “Wow I love Mc Donald’s. I can eat their fries all day! Seriously -- fresh, soggy, or leftover fries; you name it! I dip them in my vanilla sundae, honey, and BBQ sauce. Yum! My weakness. My kryptonite. Many-a-diets have been pushed down the drain because of Mc Donald’s French fries.
8. Describe your own personal hell.
Frank: “Not having any kind of money; Being powerless to do anything. Yeah...”
9. Your own personal heaven.
Frank: “Beach.... With the family. No phones. No email. Nothing. Alex, Raul, Ali, Nikki. - A steak with a side of fries and a glass of wine. Wait, maybe not wine-maybe a milkshake.”
Nikki’s thoughts: *Breathing heavily*
“Dying… I almost forgot how sweet and adorable he can be.”
10. What skills do you think you own to survive a zombie apocalypse?
Frank: “Ha! This is hard…”
“I am Fearless. I would swing away at all those f*ckers.”
Nikki: “Swing away?”
Frank: “Baseball bat.”
Nikki’s thoughts: “Hmm… I can envision that. Is it getting hot in here? I love a bad boy.”
11. Who would you rather have a close relationship with, Mom or Dad?
Frank: “Maybe, my mom... because I gave her such a hard time growing up. I would like to make up for lost time…”
Nikki’s thoughts: “Whoops. This was heavy.”
I am trying so hard to hold back my tears. I think he is holding his back too…
Believe it or not, I married this man 6 months pregnant, only 10 months after meeting him on a beach. Do the math. Needless to say, I hardly knew the guy. I was young, head strong, impulsive and extremely emotional. I was doing the right thing by getting married. I was 20 years old and a legit adult. So you know, I knew exactly what I was doing, duh!
I was carrying his baby.
I have made an insane amount of bad decisions in my past, but committing my life to this person; this was, by far the best one I have made to date. I do not want to sound entirely sappy, but those who married young will know how difficult it is. The wedding day prep was one thing, but marriage on the other hand is an entirely different ball game.
Here I am: Thirty-five, admittedly still winging it, living each day by the edge of my pants and not entirely sure of what I am doing. The upside? I can now admit it to you, to myself. I have no clue what I am doing most days.
Frank has evolved into someone who completes my puzzle at the end of each day. He is my best friend, confidant, protector and (yeah, ok fine occasional) punching bag. I am constantly thinking of new ways to keep things silly and light between us. Usually, to make up for my shortcomings. More often than not, his serious side will have nothing to do with my crazy ideas, but with a bit of convincing he does succumb eventually.